Safe Space {in the wake of a tragedy}

I think, for a while, I questioned my blog…

the reasoning behind it, why I started it in the first place, am I reaching anyone, do I have anything to offer…

One of my many insecurities is that I have nothing to offer this world

…that the world thinks that I am boring and uninteresting…my interests don’t align with others, that my blog does not create the same experiences as other blogs do…

I had plenty of thoughts about deleting my blog all together.

…I began to question my worth as a writer. and tell myself that I had nothing to say.

But all of that changed after the election.

The results that appeared early Wednesday morning angered me, but it did not surprise me.

I was never foolish enough to believe that my value as a human being was not belittled by the vast majority of Caucasians living in this country. I was never foolish enough to believe that the vast majority of Caucasians viewed me as their equal. I was never foolish enough to believe that, if they could turn back the hands of time, they would have me picking cotton and raising their children instead of me receiving my education.

Now, this is not to say that this is the mindset of them all, but, the election turn-out and results shows that it is the mindset of most.

The threats that people of color have received during these past few days, from “tar and feather” threats to being added to a lynching group chat, shows the increased comfort and acceptance of Trump’s anti-everything rhetoric  and his hate speech.

I, being a young black woman living alone in a predominantly Caucasian area, have to be on alert. I now have to watch over my shoulder twice as much, or second guess leaving my apartment after a certain time, or be extra weary of who I interact with, because now everything is up for grabs…even my life.

In these past two months I have second guessed the purpose of my blog, but that is no more. In this world where hate seems like it is winning, where humans are valued based on their shade (especially if they are Black), and where women are forced to live in a bubble of male entitlement, I am here to say that this blog is your safe space.

For the Muslim women who walk around in fear of wearing their hijab, this space is for you. Live life the way that God has called you to, and never be afraid to do so.

For the Women who live in a world where sexual assault is brushed aside, and where the reputation of the man is of more importance that the violation inflicted on you, this blog is a safe space for you.

For those in the LGBT community, who are not only judged on your race and gender, but devalued based on your sexual orientation, this blog is a safe space for you.

For children and young adults who don’t quite understand the change that is occurring and are afraid, this is a safe space for you.

For Men, all men, who wish to protect women from the harsh “realities” of this world…for the Black men who wish to guard their Black women, this is a safe space for you.

For my Sisters, who give so much support to this world, but receive so very little in return: for my sisters, who may be afraid, who are questioning the future, who wonder if this is a world brilliant enough to bare children in, who are getting an education in a society that would strip it away from them if it could, who are beaten down,  and living in a world that tries to feed them insecurity for breakfast…this blog is a safe space for you.

It took me this, this election, this rude injustice, to realize that I had something else to say…

that I am not done.

…………………………

Peace & Blessings from here and beyond

Signed,

Moscato&Tea

 

Why I Choose to be Underemployed

Alexis Chateau

At the interview for my part-time job, the Director made it perfectly clear I was the most unlikely candidate he had ever interviewed. He was impressed by my qualifications and intelligence, but confused as to why I would want to work for him.

“You do realise you’re over-qualified for this position?” he pointed out. “Why would you want this job? Why not find something where you can actually use your degrees?” He then spent the next five minutes trying to convince me not to take the job, but ultimately hired me anyway.

Family and friends were no less confused. When I shared my excitement for landing my first non-freelance job in America, they were ecstatic. As soon as I told them what I planned on doing, the responses were mostly the same.

At first there was the initial shock, followed by the subtle implication that I deserve better; that I am too smart and too…

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WedneSpirations #4

“we recharge our phones more than we recharge our bodies” ~Charlamagne the God

 

How are we treating our bodies?

Are we giving ourselves the nutrients that it deserves? Are we treating ourselves with respect?

As a college student, it is not uncommon to find yourself needing sleep. Midterms, Group Papers, and Finals are of the devil and shows mercy to no (wo)man. But, is that an excuse to neglect yourself?

As much as I am a self care advocate, I too find myself receiving less than the seven hours of sleep needed to function properly. That’s when I really try to put things into perspective:

“Does this need to be completed at this moment?”

“How much of a priority is this assignment?”

“Have I over-committed/over-worked myself?”

This is the thought process of everyone on a college campus, though some have different perspectives of it. There are those who pride themselves on the lack of sleep that they receive, due to work load or extracurricular expectations. There are others who don’t do much at all, and receive all of the sleep that they need.

I find that I am in the middle of these two extremes. Although I am involved and am a full time student, I also have a need for sleep. I make it a point to get AT LEAST 6 hours of sleep…and even waking up from that is a struggle, so I really don’t see how people function solely off of 4 or 3…or even 2 (God Forbid).

I find that when I tell people that I actually make time for sleep, they laugh…as if sleep isn’t a requirement for a healthy life. The amount of sleep received has become somewhat of a competition (“I’m so tired.” “Why?” “I was up late studying; I am running off of 4 1/2 hours of sleep.” “Bruh,  I don’t know why you’re complaining, I only got 2, and I am fine.”)

……Like I said…that’s not healthy.

This morning, Charlamagne the God made a great point. He said that this generation, when seeing that their phone reaches 10%, is quick to run someone over for a charger. But, when we need to “recharge”, we think twice about it…

So, why do we give our phones more energy than we give ourselves…..?

Just a question to ask yourself the next time you plug your phone into its charger.

…I guess I say all of this to say…Take care of yourself first. You are all that you have. One body. One Mind. Your health.

Take Charge of It.

That’s it = )

Peace&Blessings from Yesterday and Beyond.

Moscato&Tea

 

Things to Teach my Daughter pt. 1

The one thing that I want for my daughter is for her to be more confident than I was as a child. I want her to be fearless in a world that’s determined to tear her down. I want her to be defiant in her beliefs. I want her to find power in her passions, and worth in her being. I want her to find beauty in every aspect of herself.

The following are a few of the things that I would like to teach my daughter, starting when she is young.

  1. Everyone is a bit awkward. Everyone is a bit weird.

    Dear Daughter, you are guaranteed to be weird and awkward. Why, you ask? Because fortunately (or unfortunately) you have me as your mother, and I am the most awkward person most people will ever meet. When you’re young, you’re going to want to suppress this, but don’t. Everyone is a bit quirky; some just try to hide it to be considered normal. I just want you to know that there is no such thing as normal. Normal is a myth that everyone strives to be…

  2. Be Left of Center.

    Growing up, I was always on a different wave length than the other kids. For the longest time I tried to blend in to be like everyone else. But, after a while, blending in became painful. Dear Daughter, most people won’t get you, nor should they. You are going to be a being that dances to your own rhythm, not anyone else’s. Never try to match your wavelength, or your vibration, to others. You are your own. So own it.

  3. Having friends doesn’t make you; Not having them doesn’t break you.

    Contrary to popular beliefs, the number of friends that you have does not determine your value. People are fickle, and they change over time. Don’t allow the “want” or “need” of companionship lead you astray.

  4. The thoughts about you that matter most are yours.

    Dear Daughter, begin your days with positive affirmations and meditation. Empower yourself, and realize your abilities. Find confidence and security within yourself to allow you to filter the bullshit that society will try to feed you. You are Beautiful, You are Smart. Any thought that is not of God and does not benefit you, isn’t for you. Please remember this.

  5. Find what brings you joy & live by it. 

    There will be those who don’t see, or don’t believe, in your vision. I, too, may be one of those people. But don’t allow me or anyone else stop you from following your dreams. You are the writer of your life. Not me. Not anyone else. Focus on the things that make you happy, and achieve them.

  6. Have a voice; don’t let anyone else write your autobiography. 

    Use your voice to speak out about what is right. Use your voice to speak out about what is wrong. Never allow anyone to speak for you. Not me, not your friends, and not a man  (or significant other). You have control over your life. Speak the things you want into fruition, and it is bound to happen.

  7. So…you’re single. And? 

    There were times when I struggled with this. But I have recently found that this is actually the perfect time to be single. I am finding new levels of myself that I never knew existed. I am at the point where I am not willing to give my time and energy to anyone who is undeserving. This, Daughter, is what I will tell you, starting in middle school when hormones kick in…then to high school, when the number of boyfriends you’ve had determines your popularity, then in college during “cuffing season”. So what you’re single? Being single is the perfect time to learn about yourself until God places you in the arms that you’re supposed to be in.

  8. Self-Care is never Selfish.

    My Daughter, you will have a generous spirit. But, please remember: Never give to others more than you give to yourself. Treat yourself as the Queen that you are…and be unapologetic about it.

  9. Cry. It’s OK. 

    I have always hated crying. But I have learned that crying is a much needed release of emotion. Daughter, never allow emotions to build up inside of you. If you are like me, and need solitude, find your quiet place. Once there, take a deep breath…and Let it Go.

  10. Pray. 

    Daughter, pray without ceasing.

WedneSpirations: Reflections

“Just like Moons and like Suns, With the Certainty of Tides, Just like Hopes Springing High, Still I’ll Rise” ~ Maya Angelou

 

Yesterday was my breaking point. I think I am coming closer to my last straw.

….

Yesterday, I had a rush of fear that I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before. It was a strong fear; one that wasn’t about myself, but was about others. A fear that…at any moment, the Men and Women in my life, that I love, that I cherish, could suddenly be taken from me.

It was a crippling fear, that had an affect on my day.

Yesterday morning, I got on twitter and learned that another black life was lost. Yesterday afternoon, I had to endure overhearing the rant of a Trump supporter while at work, and Yesterday evening, I learned about another fatal shooting.

A shooting of another Man. A Black Man. The shooting of Black Men.

Yesterday was the day that I cried. Not at all for myself, but for the lives that I love and cherish. I cannot fathom how the lives that I care for aren’t cared for by the society that we live in. The men that I look up to, the men that I love, have loved, and will love, are just target practice for those whose hearts are filled with hatred and stereotypes.

My Father is Much more than a Black man. He is a Generous and Loving Man. Who sacrifices all for his family.

My Brother is Much more than a Black man. He is intelligent. He is a future leader.

My Ex-Boyfriends are more than Black men. They are game-changers, activist, artists and lovers.

My Uncles are more than Black men. They are givers of life.

My Aunts are more than Black women. They are bringers of life.

How is it that we are considered less than? How is it that we are not valued? How is it that we are not valid? And, how is it that we, Black People, are doctors, lawyers, and Presidents, but are still considered to be 3/5 of a human being…that we can be gunned down…that the films of our deaths are spread like cancer through the media…how our dead are criticized?

How is it that the death of an animal gets more respect than the death of our Men and Women?

~~~~~~

I don’t know what God’s plan is for us. But I do know that our suffering doesn’t go unnoticed. God created Us in his image, the same as he created every other race. One day, our divinity will be realized.

One Day, as a People, We Will Rise.

WedneSpirations #3

“Beauty is in the cracks, the smudge, and the imperfect line. In an age of machine-made products, human touch is more valuable than ever. As with people, minor flaws can make objects more appealing. There is elegance in imperfection” ~ Dr. Samantha Boardman

 

Everyday, society tells us how we should look.

We hear it in the media, in songs, and in the everyday conversations that we overhear. And, it doesn’t help that we live in an age where a lot of the most coveted celebrities are enhanced by plastic surgery.

It is during this time where we, especially women, may feel that we need to change something about ourselves in order for us to look or feel better. In reality though, we were already created in a perfect image.

…Who told us that we needed to change?…

There are times when I look into the mirror and see a load of flaws.

“…Well, maybe if I just changed this small little..thing..here…..”

…And that’s where I stop myself.

I stop myself because I have to ask myself, “to what standards am I comparing myself to? The standards set by pop culture? The standards set by men?”

Every time I look into the mirror and see things that “need” to change, I force myself to see them as little specs of extra beauty…a little dot of uniqueness that no one else has.

I challenge you this week:

To that thing, that flaw, that you feel tears you down, allow it to uplift you. See it as that extra gift God gave you to stand out from the rest.

Instead of filling yourself with the negativity of what flaw of yours needs to be fixed, look at it as an opportunity to shine.

~~~~~~~~

Peace & Blessings from yesterday and beyond.

MoscatoandTea

 

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