Single…(in a Universe of Duos) pt.1

Every day, I wake up and face the fact that I am single. Yes, I am single…Single…meaning that I consist of a single and not an “other”. Single, meaning that I have limited “hotline bling”. Single, meaning that my “bae”, the one thing that takes much of my energy, is divided between school and sleep.

Single, meaning that I am not with anyone. Not in a relationship. Alone. By myself.

In this society, we are taught that being alone, not being with a significant other, or even enjoying yourself, by yourself, is a negative thing.

But, now that we are entering the beginning of the end of the Month of Love, I just thought that I would share my thoughts on this particular matter.

Now, I am not sure about you, but all my life (well…young adult life), I have been surrounded by people who are in relationships. And while they were in relationships, I have been single, probably 75% of the time. Many of the people that were in those “relationships” were either talking/texting/dating/liking/loving somebody. Then, when that relationship ends, this whole “love” cycle begins again: talktextdatelikelove…talktextdatelikelove…talktextdatelikelove….over and over and over…and I wonder if it ever gets tiring.

I wonder if it ever gets tiring, because there is a lot of work that gets put into finding your “mate”. And every day, there are people who pursue and pursue, only to no avail. But the question, my friends, is: why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we constantly feel the need to be in a relationship? Who told us that this is what our main mission in life was to be? Who told us that, with every day, in between our other responsibilities, that we should add “6:30 p.m. – Until: Find Bae” in our planners?

Well, if you must know, society has told us so. Society has taught us that our true value lies in the opinions of others, especially Men.

….I don’t know about you, But I am pretty darn sure that that wasn’t what this Universe was created for. I don’t think we were meant to buy a “Love for Dummies” handbook and take notes on how to find a man, treat it like the Bible, and implement what we have learned into our everyday lives.

Excuse me, but I think that we need to be doing the opposite.

We are in a society that teaches us to change our standards, change who we are as beings, and try to apply unrealistic expectations on ourselves. But, I tell you: it is time that we rebel.

Instead of looking to have others add value to us, we should be determined to add value to ourselves. We, as women, need to start looking ourselves in the mirror, shed society’s unrealistic expectations, layer by layer, and realize who we are as Beings.

We are more than what we have been taught by others. Instead, we are what we teach ourselves.

Rebel from the “natural” order of societies unrealistic expectations, and begin to Love yourself unconditionally.

Start doing what makes YOU happy without worrying about others opinions

Create your own standards and life values that you can live by, faithfully, and without regret

Look at yourself in the mirror (not the You that you want society to see, but the YOU that you see when no one is around and tell yourself, every day, that you love yourself

Gain Confidence in the areas that you feel you are “lacking” in. Confidence is Key in this world. The more confidence you gain, the less hold societal expectations will have on you.

Treat yourself. You are your greatest gift. Make sure you realize that.

…Those are just a few ideas that can help us realize that being in a relationship isn’t the only thing that matters in this world.

So…that was my rant for the week. I hope that you all enjoy. I hope that some of you can relate. And I hope that others are uplifted.

…….

….and I’ll sip my tea on this subject…

Blessings&Love

p.s. Feel free to leave comments.

 

 

The Lip Diaries. Pt. 1

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Colour Pop Ultra Matte: StingRaye

Hello All!

Just thought that I would show you what I have been wearing this week. If you know me, you know I am a lips girl. I never leave the house without some type of gloss or color (preferably) on my lips. It is the best part of my outfit….probably because I wear sweatshirts a lot….My sad attempt at dressing it up = )

I will post about this, and other topics, once a week. If you like it, let me know! If not, let me know that too.

p.s.

I apologize for the picture that I took in my robe. Lets just say that it was a super long day. But, I was still determined to do this for you all.

Be on the look out for more soon!

Blessings&Love

What is Sexy…(and is it Me)?

So, I know that I am not the only female in this Universe that believed that she was never sexy.

To me, there was no way that I, or anyone else could ever look at me and say: “wow…she’s sexy. I want to be with her” “Wow, I like her vibe. She is someone that I want to be with” or “Damn. Look how good she looks”…

To my, in my mini-universe of my head, any of those statements (and more) weren’t even in my realm of existence.

But, one day, I experienced an awakening

(And, no. It did not come from the approval of a man)

I happened to be reading an magazine one day, and towards the end, there was the Love&Sex section (I think that’s what it’s called). In the section, It talked about the importance of maintaining your “sexy”. It made a point that whether you’re in a relationship or single, or even if you are celibate, it is important to make yourself feel “sexy” (in whatever form that is for you).

After reading this article, I really sat back (and sipped Moscato) and thought to myself: “What is Sexy?”

I was really confused. For the longest time, sexy was something that I was never ever going to achieve. It was like some far-off planet that my space ship would never make it to. Some Island that my boat sunk before reaching. Some candy that I was allergic to.

“What is Sexy?”

According to the article, it was something that needed to be practiced, almost like confidence.

Confidence….Sexy….Confidence….Sexy…..

And in that moment, I came to realize that the idea of confidence and sexy were (almost) one-and-the-same.

In that moment (that hit me like an atomic bomb), I realized that there is sexy in me somewhere (like confidence), but I am going to have to put in work to bring it out. Now…this is not to say that I am going to throw myself at every man that comes my way to prove my sexiness. It just means that the practice of “sexy” starts from within me.

How I Plan to Bring out My Sexy:

  1. Wearing flattering (sexy,lacy,thong-y panties) everyday (except to the gym and when it is that time of the month). Although I buy nice under garments, usually only wear granny panties and sports bras. Why? Because, to me, it is just so much easier. When wearing my go-to sweatpants and t-shirts, I am not thinking about putting on my good underwear. I am more concerned with just throwing on the first thing that I see and going. This is change #1
  2. Wearing make-up 2-3 days out of the week (Monday-Thursday. Of course my face is BEAT TO THE EVERLASTING GAAHHDDS WHEN I’M TURING UP ON THE WEEKEND). I feel that this tip is very helpful because the weeks are when most people are the busiest and are looking more for convenience. It is nothing for me to walk around looking like a “who done it and why” during the week. But, since I am building confidence in my personal sexy, I am going to limit my “dry-ness”.
  3. Treating myself to nice soaps, bath salts and lotions. Now, granted, I already do this. But, I still think that it is very important to add this on the list. If I think that my Shea Butter-Coconut Oil mix makes my skin feel “sexy”, then dammit, I’m going to use it….EVERYDAY. And hey, if I like the way my skin feels (soft and luscious) then I know he will too.
  4. Treating myself to nail and hair days. There are days that you just need to dedicate to self care. If you do not care for yourself, then who will…ya know?? I am a firm believer that if you treat yourself like the Empress that you are…then so will he.

So, anyway….Those are my few cents (and sense).

For you super sexy folks out there, gimme advice on how to increase the sexy. For those of you who feel (or have felt) the way that I do….let me know! I am here for you.

Well, I will now sip my ginger tea and continue with my pondering…

Blessings&Love.

Nothing Holding Me Back…But Myself

I recently had an experience that slightly changed the way that I want to view myself within this world.

To start, I recently attended a conference, and the speaker asked us to get into groups and practice the art of listening (apparently no one really listens to each other in real life). So, we did. The group I was in was made up of two people I knew, and two that I had just met.

When it was my turn to talk, I discussed my excitement, but hesitation about starting this blog. I spoke about how starting this blog has been on my mind for about a year now, but I’ve always had doubts. I wasn’t sure if it would be accepted, or if people would enjoy reading it (I mean, who in this universe is really interested in what “I” have to say).

Along with this blog, I was asked other personal questions: “What are your goals?” “What do you like most about yourself?”….and my absolute favorite….”What are your weaknesses?”

After answering, in depth, the many questions that were asked, the group members each had to give feedback on what I talked about. Throughout this process, I was completely content with myself until a friend of mine (who was in the group) made this comment: “You know, you seem to want to talk more about your short comings than the things that you’re actually good at or passionate about.”

…..At that moment, I literally just had a wow moment. That one comment made me question how I really thought about myself. I really had to ask myself: “Am I really as confident as I would like to think that I am?”

The answer to that is no. Looking back on my life, I have realized that I have let my continuous negative thoughts run my life. I may have missed tons of opportunities and the chance of meeting great people because my personal vibes were out of sync.

It was in that moment that I realized that I definitely had to make a personal change. I wondered….”If she was able to notice that about me within a 5 minute conversation, who else has noticed it?”…this may be a question that I will never have an answer to.

For those of you out there who may have had similar experiences, how did you deal with them? Any advice that you would like to give?

***Personal Resolution***

I VOW to overcome each negative thought with five powerful positive ones. It is time that I wake up and realize that I am the rarest of butterflies…

**Sighs***…..this realization calls for a glass of Moscato…..