What is Sexy…(and is it Me)?

So, I know that I am not the only female in this Universe that believed that she was never sexy.

To me, there was no way that I, or anyone else could ever look at me and say: “wow…she’s sexy. I want to be with her” “Wow, I like her vibe. She is someone that I want to be with” or “Damn. Look how good she looks”…

To my, in my mini-universe of my head, any of those statements (and more) weren’t even in my realm of existence.

But, one day, I experienced an awakening

(And, no. It did not come from the approval of a man)

I happened to be reading an magazine one day, and towards the end, there was the Love&Sex section (I think that’s what it’s called). In the section, It talked about the importance of maintaining your “sexy”. It made a point that whether you’re in a relationship or single, or even if you are celibate, it is important to make yourself feel “sexy” (in whatever form that is for you).

After reading this article, I really sat back (and sipped Moscato) and thought to myself: “What is Sexy?”

I was really confused. For the longest time, sexy was something that I was never ever going to achieve. It was like some far-off planet that my space ship would never make it to. Some Island that my boat sunk before reaching. Some candy that I was allergic to.

“What is Sexy?”

According to the article, it was something that needed to be practiced, almost like confidence.


And in that moment, I came to realize that the idea of confidence and sexy were (almost) one-and-the-same.

In that moment (that hit me like an atomic bomb), I realized that there is sexy in me somewhere (like confidence), but I am going to have to put in work to bring it out. Now…this is not to say that I am going to throw myself at every man that comes my way to prove my sexiness. It just means that the practice of “sexy” starts from within me.

How I Plan to Bring out My Sexy:

  1. Wearing flattering (sexy,lacy,thong-y panties) everyday (except to the gym and when it is that time of the month). Although I buy nice under garments, usually only wear granny panties and sports bras. Why? Because, to me, it is just so much easier. When wearing my go-to sweatpants and t-shirts, I am not thinking about putting on my good underwear. I am more concerned with just throwing on the first thing that I see and going. This is change #1
  2. Wearing make-up 2-3 days out of the week (Monday-Thursday. Of course my face is BEAT TO THE EVERLASTING GAAHHDDS WHEN I’M TURING UP ON THE WEEKEND). I feel that this tip is very helpful because the weeks are when most people are the busiest and are looking more for convenience. It is nothing for me to walk around looking like a “who done it and why” during the week. But, since I am building confidence in my personal sexy, I am going to limit my “dry-ness”.
  3. Treating myself to nice soaps, bath salts and lotions. Now, granted, I already do this. But, I still think that it is very important to add this on the list. If I think that my Shea Butter-Coconut Oil mix makes my skin feel “sexy”, then dammit, I’m going to use it….EVERYDAY. And hey, if I like the way my skin feels (soft and luscious) then I know he will too.
  4. Treating myself to nail and hair days. There are days that you just need to dedicate to self care. If you do not care for yourself, then who will…ya know?? I am a firm believer that if you treat yourself like the Empress that you are…then so will he.

So, anyway….Those are my few cents (and sense).

For you super sexy folks out there, gimme advice on how to increase the sexy. For those of you who feel (or have felt) the way that I do….let me know! I am here for you.

Well, I will now sip my ginger tea and continue with my pondering…



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