Every day, I wake up and face the fact that I am single. Yes, I am single…Single…meaning that I consist of a single and not an “other”. Single, meaning that I have limited “hotline bling”. Single, meaning that my “bae”, the one thing that takes much of my energy, is divided between school and sleep.
Single, meaning that I am not with anyone. Not in a relationship. Alone. By myself.
In this society, we are taught that being alone, not being with a significant other, or even enjoying yourself, by yourself, is a negative thing.
But, now that we are entering the beginning of the end of the Month of Love, I just thought that I would share my thoughts on this particular matter.
Now, I am not sure about you, but all my life (well…young adult life), I have been surrounded by people who are in relationships. And while they were in relationships, I have been single, probably 75% of the time. Many of the people that were in those “relationships” were either talking/texting/dating/liking/loving somebody. Then, when that relationship ends, this whole “love” cycle begins again: talktextdatelikelove…talktextdatelikelove…talktextdatelikelove….over and over and over…and I wonder if it ever gets tiring.
I wonder if it ever gets tiring, because there is a lot of work that gets put into finding your “mate”. And every day, there are people who pursue and pursue, only to no avail. But the question, my friends, is: why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we constantly feel the need to be in a relationship? Who told us that this is what our main mission in life was to be? Who told us that, with every day, in between our other responsibilities, that we should add “6:30 p.m. – Until: Find Bae” in our planners?
Well, if you must know, society has told us so. Society has taught us that our true value lies in the opinions of others, especially Men.
….I don’t know about you, But I am pretty darn sure that that wasn’t what this Universe was created for. I don’t think we were meant to buy a “Love for Dummies” handbook and take notes on how to find a man, treat it like the Bible, and implement what we have learned into our everyday lives.
Excuse me, but I think that we need to be doing the opposite.
We are in a society that teaches us to change our standards, change who we are as beings, and try to apply unrealistic expectations on ourselves. But, I tell you: it is time that we rebel.
Instead of looking to have others add value to us, we should be determined to add value to ourselves. We, as women, need to start looking ourselves in the mirror, shed society’s unrealistic expectations, layer by layer, and realize who we are as Beings.
We are more than what we have been taught by others. Instead, we are what we teach ourselves.
Rebel from the “natural” order of societies unrealistic expectations, and begin to Love yourself unconditionally.
Start doing what makes YOU happy without worrying about others opinions
Create your own standards and life values that you can live by, faithfully, and without regret
Look at yourself in the mirror (not the You that you want society to see, but the YOU that you see when no one is around and tell yourself, every day, that you love yourself
Gain Confidence in the areas that you feel you are “lacking” in. Confidence is Key in this world. The more confidence you gain, the less hold societal expectations will have on you.
Treat yourself. You are your greatest gift. Make sure you realize that.
…Those are just a few ideas that can help us realize that being in a relationship isn’t the only thing that matters in this world.
So…that was my rant for the week. I hope that you all enjoy. I hope that some of you can relate. And I hope that others are uplifted.
….and I’ll sip my tea on this subject…
p.s. Feel free to leave comments.