I think, for the first time, I am starting to understand what “journey” means, and how it relates to my life.
This Summer, as short as it has been thus far, has been the beginning of a Journey for me. It’s almost as if God has a lesson planning book, and the milestones that I am to reach are met at mid-night every night. It feels like He has patiently waited a long time to teach me whatever lesson He is trying to teach me…and in the end it will all be worth it.
This Summer, which really has just begun, has stamped a new beginning for me.
The job that I had, cut all of my hours.
The 20+ jobs that I have applied to since, (I’m assuming) no longer needs those positions filled.
I and a “friend” went our separate ways for reasons still unknown and unclear to me…
This all leads me to believe that these events cannot be a coincidence.
I have always been a person who moved at the speed of light; who had everything planned out; who sets goals and doesn’t rest until they’re accomplished; who believes in perfection; who is always working and has no time for “down-time”.
And yet, I think it is funny how everything that I had scheduled and planned has fell through; from jobs to friends.
I felt like a failure at the beginning of the summer; part of me still wants to (the weaker part of course). But, I am now embracing it. I now have to sit back and wonder if this is God showing me that I really don’t have control over my journey in life. I often find myself wondering if, when all this time I have restlessly and recklessly controlled my life (often to the point of stress and health concerns), that God has finally had enough.
Looking back and re-reading this, I can hear my readers thoughts: “This is a lazy excuse.”
It may seem so, but to those who know me, know of my efforts. Those who know me also know of the rigorous routines and schedules I set for myself with the idea to rebuke any laziness when it comes to anything in my life…
But, then again, who am I?
All I know is that God has his reasons for Everything, and His timing for All things.
In the End, Whatever knowledge and wisdom that He planned for me to gain during this journey will be all worth it.
Peace&Blessings to All.