WedneSpirations #1

“To be Brilliant and not realize it – a catastrophe” ~ Yrsa Daley-Ward

I am pretty sure that everyone sometimes wonders who they are as a human being, and what they can contribute to the world. I know I do.

We sit back and compare ourselves to other people, who we assume are great & living awesome lives, and wonder why we can’t be like them. I know, I do that too.

On a college level: When there are seniors who, before their last semester, already have jobs waiting for them. I tend to wonder: “Am I a failure?”…I must be doing something wrong.

On a woman level: looking at other women and seeing beauty that you feel you may lack. Whether its physical, like the “perfect body” or a picturesque face, or internal, like a super out-going personality or a “brilliant mind.”

Don’t worry. As much as I build myself up, I fall into those periods of comparing myself to another person to see how I measure up. It is a very common thing to do, especially amongst females. But, I am here to tell you to Stop. Stop doing that.

The more you compare yourself to another person, the more you are belittling your own brilliance. Everyone is brilliant in their own right. Everyone is different, therefore, it is impossible to compare yourself to another.Even if you are a twin, you still cannot be compared, because God made us in our own unique way.

We learn differently, we grow differently, and we interpret things differently.

We are brilliantly unique, and uniquely brilliant. And that is what we need to remember.

~~~~~~~~~

#WednesdayInspiration #Wednespiration

Peace&Blessings from yesterday and beyond

MoscatoandTea

College Guide for the Introvert & Socially Awkward

To be completely honest…I am an extreme introvert.

Anything that involves stepping out of my comfort-zone, meeting new people, conversations, and, even affection, freak me out. So, imagine my fear, four years ago, of starting college!

It didn’t hit me during that summer leading up to my first semester, mainly because I was too busy thinking about all of the freedom that I would have being out of my parent’s house. But, what is funny is, I never thought about how I would get to that “freedom” in college. Getting to that “freedom” meant having to step out of that comfort-zone and trying new things and meeting new people….two things, which, if you haven’t noticed by now, are super hard for me to do.

Since I am entering my last semester of undergrad, and will soon have 4 1/2 years of college experience, I have decided to share a few things that I have learned.

  1. Bonding with your roommate (If you can)

Now, there have been many horror stories about roommates, but I have to say that I have had great luck in that category. My first roommate, who will be named A, was the perfect match for me. We were so similar that it was pretty scary (from personality, to the decorations that we chose for our dorm, even to the movies we liked). Having a great relationship with my roommate made it easier to get out of my dorm, instead of moping around.

The only downside about our relationship is that we were both extreme introverts; we never pushed each other to try new things. We were content to stay in at nights and on the weekends having movie nights and watching Netflix. Now, not that staying in is a bad thing…but it can be unhealthy if that is all that you do. I can honestly say that I had two friends freshmen year: A, and another girl that will be named J, who I knew from high school. One regret that I have from my freshmen year is that I was so willing to just stick with my comfort-zone that I was too afraid to make connections with anyone else that I met.

Don’t make the same mistake that I did.

2. Go to on-campus events

It seems like every few weeks my campus is having one event after another, especially for the new freshmen or transfer students. I can say that A and I went to a lot of these events, whether a game night or magic show was being presented, or if there was a movie screening (it was at these screenings that I realized that I was neither a fan of the Great Gatsby nor Pitch Perfect). The important thing to remember about attending these events is that you never know who you are going to meet. It’s possible that you could meet your best friend, or find your soul mate…but if you opt not to go, you’d never know.

3. Join Organizations

Freshmen year of College, I literally joined every organization that I could…it was unbelievable. Black Student Union, Economics Club, Accountancy…you name it, I was there. These organizations literally became rich due to the fact that I was always paying dues…it’s funny just to think about it.

But, freshmen year is the time to do that. Join everything that seems interesting. This is an easy way to socialize and be noticed. It also is a way to find out what you are passionate about.

Sophomore year is the time to join things that you really care about…meaning: narrow down your Freshmen year list. Interested in community service, join Habitat for Humanity. #BlackLivesMatter? Join National Council of Negro Women or Black Student Union. Religious? Join any Bible based (Quran Based or Torah Based) organization. Joining organizations that really speak to you helps you to “find your place” on campus, and allows you to surround yourself with like-minded people.

4. Show yourself friendly

It wasn’t until college that I realized that I had a condition called Extreme Resting Bitch Face (ERBF).

…let’s just say that that’s not the best thing to have when you’re trying to make friends. Showing yourself as a friendly person (and being genuine about it) is very important. It is important because (and I have recently realized that) many people, whether they are social butterflies and social hermits, have the same thoughts as you about meeting other people…

“Are they going to like me?”

I’m sorry, but if you have ERBF, the likelihood of even the most socialist-of-social people won’t want to talk to you. Therefore, learn the Power of the Smile. Like one great person (whoever he or she was) said, “A smile can go a long way”. And, my dear, when it comes to making friends (and acquaintances), that statement is very true.

It wasn’t until my Sophomore year that I made more of an attempt to make more friends. Now, my dear, I wouldn’t recommend you wait so long. Because, it is by this time that groups of friends are already formed, which makes it even harder to become friends with everyone in the group (sometimes). But fortunately, I reconnected with a few people that I had met in passing Freshmen year, and formed relationships. Best thing that I could have done, especially since EVERY SINGE LAST ONE OF THEM are extroverts. Just being friends with them allowed me to push past my comfort zone somewhat. And it all started with that first party…..dun dun dunnnnnnn

5. Go to Parties/Kickbacks

This is, was, and forever will be the hardest thing for me:

(a) Because I am Not a twerker. I have to quickly remind the fine gentlemen at a                       party to find someone else before they become disappointed in the fact that I do                     not twerk.

(b) Because I am surrounded by Extroverts. Any introvert knows that, when being                    surrounded by extroverts in excess, it can be a bit much to handle.

Now, I may be asked, “Well why do you even go if you feel this way?”

Well, because I go for the enjoyment of being around my girl friends. The whole prepping before the party (the make-up, the “I don’t know what to wear!”, the pulling together of outfits at the last minute, the blasting of music and taking shots…responsibly of course) are all a huge bonding moment. The funniest things that can be observed amongst friends occurs in the preparation to go out.

Literally. Hilarious.

And while at the party, I’m not there solely to dance on guys. I am really just there to vibe and have a good time with my girls.

6. Stop being Afraid

So, you have an awkward moment when talking to someone. You may fumble and stutter your words, or you may say the wrong things…SO WHAT? Don’t let one instance determine your whole social experience. Trust me, the more people you talk to, the easier it will become.

Never Be Afraid to eat alone. Trust me…no one cares! This isn’t High School. No one is thinking, “Wow, look at that loner over there!”

But, when invited to eat with a group, don’t decline. You never know; the people you’re eating with could become your life-long friends.

Lastly, concerned about being in a social setting and feeling awkward? This happens to me often. But, what helps me is the Power of Force. I literally force myself to  (a) walk up to strangers and introduce myself, or (b) find a familiar face, do the typical “Hey girl! How are you?”. Once that introduction is done and the ice is broken, I then introduce myself to who ever she was talking to and start conversation that way.

~~~~~~~~

These are definitely just a few of the tips that I have. If you are interested, I most definitely have more  = )

I hope that this blesses someone.

And don’t forget to follow me on Bloglovin!

Peace&Blessings from yesterday and Beyond

~MoscatoandTea

DailyTeaDrops: Writer’s Block

Hello Beautiful People.

So, if you haven’t noticed, my blog has been going through some changes lately.

I have been experimenting with a lot of different suggestions and tips that are given to new bloggers, and trying to figure out what works best for me.

And, while many of the tips that I have received are great, I have realized that I have to be true to myself in order to stay true to  those who follow me.

Lately, I have been experimenting with daily posts. And, while I enjoyed doing that, I have realized in order to give you all the quality that you deserve, I should revert back to my periodic posting. At this particular moment, daily posts wouldn’t be ideal.

Please remember that I am a new bloggers still trying to navigate this Journey, so please be understanding = )

So that my schedule is Known, I will post it below:

  • Bi-Weekly Blog Posts Covering Various Topics:
    • 2nd an 4th Fridays (and some Sunday’s depending on my creative juices) of the month
  • Wednesday Inspirations
    • A weekly mid-week thought to share with everyone
  • DailyTeaDrops: Random Questions/Comments/Observations
    • If I come across or obvserve anything that I feel to be “post-worthy” and that doesn’t fall under any of the above dates, then they will be Titled under “DailyTeaDrops”

Thank you for understanding!

Peace&Blessings from yesterday and beyond.

~ MoscatoandTea!

DailyTeaDrops: Girl Talk

How do you know when you are being too difficult?


So, my girl friends and I were talking earlier today…you know about the usual stuff:

  • getting jobs after graduation, you know, so we won’t be BrokeBetty’s
  • the dreadful (trying to stay positive though) semester that is about to begin for some of us
  • Donald J. Trump, and his bafoolery (of course)
  • and last but not least…Men

Right in the midst of our conversation about the opposite sex, one friend quickly asked: “Hey, how do you know when you are being too difficult” on guys?

Now, I guess this question could fall under the debate of High Standards vs. Unrealistic Expectations, but I kind of feel that this debate deserve a whole separate post.

But, the difficulty on guys (whether or not we as women need to adjust our attitudes), totally depends on the clarity of the guys intentions. For me, if I perceive that a man’s intentions are off when it comes to how he approaches me, then my “difficulty” increases. Now, this is not to say that I play hard to get (in my own opinion), it is just that I am more cautious than I would be in any other situation.

The main area that I show restraint is my level of communication. Whether me and the guy (that I’m not sure about) are texting consistently or not, whenever we do communicate, there is always a boundary.

For example, when I text, I use “haha” instead of “lol” and other things of that nature. So, if I am texting someone who’s approach is wrong or off  (in my opinion), there will be no excessive use of “haha” or any punctuation, just to make my  “Hey, I don’t feel that we have a connection…I think that you should move on” vibe very clear.

…That Kind of sounded harsh. I guess what I should say is “Well, I’m not interested in flirting, so………. (Nevermind. They both sound harsh. Yikes)

Now, there are times when I find that (and I am told that) this approach is kind of “harsh”.

“Well, what if he was nervous?”

“What if he really likes you, but doesn’t know how to express it?”

“Well, maybe you’re not giving him a fair chance.”

…these are quotes that I hear pretty often…

So, back to the main question: “How do you know when you are being too difficult?”

… I think we “just know”…as human beings.

After a while of communication and observing his actions, the words he chooses, and what he talks about with you, I think you know whether or not a man seems genuine. I feel that if the man is genuinely interested (regardless of his approach), you’d be able to see it in his persistence. Now, I’m not saying that he will wait forever, but there will be a moment where you’ll say to yourself “Gee, well maybe I should give him a better chance”.

I believe that every woman has a Third Eye (a 6th sense, if you will)…you know, something that warns you when danger is coming, or tells you that everything is going to be OK. This Third Eye definitely kicks in, for me, when it comes to men.

But, again, back to the main question: “How do you know when you are being too difficult?”

Well, if you have to ask…then maybe you are.

**sips tea**

Just a quick post on this Monday night. What are your thoughts? Are women too hard on men? If so, Why? Have Men given us reasons to be hard? If so, what?

** I am young, so my views may be a little naive…if so…let me know = ) **

Peace&Blessings from yesterday and beyond.

~MoscatoandTea

 

DailyTeaDrops: Sunday Devotion

So, It’s Sunday.

And, like most Sundays, I try to dedicate the whole day to devotion. Now, let’s be clear: this isn’t the only day that I think about, or take time out for God (I do nightly devotionals and daily prayers), but this day for most Christians stands apart from the rest (in my opinion)

After some thought, I decided that I wanted to share a few things that I have learned today from a T.D. Jakes sermon called Destiny Has a Stalker. <— the link to the sermon is here. 

The Sermon Covered Mark chapter 4, which discusses the parable of the Sower. Of all of the places where a sower’s seeds could fall, Dr. Jakes focused on the part about thorns.

As I was listening to his sermon, I couldn’t help but realize that he explained it in a way that I have never heard of before…

What he explained really changed my perspective, and I hope that you all watch it so it can bless you as well.

***

The following is an excerpt from the notes that I took while listening to this sermon. I repeat, These are mine from my perspective. You may listen to the sermon and receive a totally different revelation than I did.

Regardless, I hope that this blesses somebody = )


The Thorns that will Choke You

  1. Cares of This World
  • When something, whether it be a good thing or a bad thing, replaces God in your life.

For me, the major “thing” in my life is college. Although college and education are good things, there are times when I allow myself to be overwhelmed and consumed by the pressure (perceived or real) of professors. I have learned, throughout my 8 semesters of college that that is not healthy. I forget that there is a force bigger than college, and that any stress or fear that I have can be conquered. I find my self forgetting to rely on God…I find my self neglecting Him for something as simple as a paper. The thing that chokes you may not be something as big as losing a job. It can be something as small as the due date of a paper or an exam.

2. The Deceitfulness of Riches

  • When you chase riches because of the belief that the “Grass is Greener on the Other Side”. If you are chasing riches, you will chase it no matter how “rich” you become.
  • The more God blesses you, the more generous you have to become so that the blessing doesn’t control you. I feel that a good example of this is Bob Marley. When questioned about his “richness”, he responded, “So, money makes you rich?”. I feel that his response was the perfect response.
(link to the Bob Marley Clip Here)

There are times when I find myself worrying about money. Even though I am blessed beyond measure, I always find myself thinking that life would be just a bit easier if I had more cash-flow. But, would life be easier? Or would there be something else that pops up to worry about. I have come to learn that I need to be content with where I am in life. It is until I am grateful for where I am that I will be blessed with the next phase.

3.Lust of Other Things

  • Is not only sexual in nature, but can come about by not being satisfied with the blessings that you have received; wanting more and more.
  • According to T.D. Jakes, it is the seduction of the enemy that makes it seem that other people’s lives are better than yours. He also says that the enemy has no power to take away what God gives, but he makes you re-think and devalue the blessing that you have.

Important Note: You must remember to have three things: Balance, Temperance and Perspective. These three will help you recognize these thorns, and keep them from choking you.

Thank you for reading!

Peace and Blessings from yesterday and beyond.

~Moscato&Tea

 

DailyTeaDrops: Seeing Past the Kinks and Coils

Today, like most Saturdays (or Sundays) is Wash Day…My other Natural Sisters know exactly what I am talking about.

The Process:

  • The Night Before: dividing my hair into four sections, and moisturizing the sections with coconut oil and Shea Butter. After braiding the sections into oversized plaits, I tie a plastic bag around my hair (due to the fact that I always forget to buy shower caps) and cover with a large headscarf until the next day
  • The Day Of: I wash each section (mainly co-wash, but I do use shampoo once a month) then jumbo-twist each section. After the wash, I deep-condition my hair, dividing each jumbo twist into smaller twists. I let the deep-conditioner set for 2-3 hours. Depending  on which week my wash-day falls on determines the style of my hair (wash-n-go, or mini-twists). Today is mini-twist day.

This is my Process (In summary). The full day of “Hair Care” that I put myself through.

Although our process or regimen may differ, the one thing that all Black women can agree on is that taking care of our hair takes time…sometimes a lot of time.

I remember being younger and wishing that my hair was straighter or looser so that it wouldn’t take much time to do. I always slightly envied other races because their lives seemed so much easier just because their hair was “easier” (in my eyes) to maintain. I didn’t appreciate my coils. To me, they were a burden.

All my life, I have always had thick hair. So thick, that there were those who didn’t want to do it, or wonder “who’s doing that child’s hair?”…until they dreadfully found out that I was their responsibility.

In my mind, if I had “better” hair, they wouldn’t have had those thoughts.

Although I have now embraced my hair, I still sometimes wonder why it has to take absolutely forever to do my hair.

…It’s funny because, while I am washing my hair thinking about all of this, I started to wonder what my ancestors thought about doing their hair…

Did they think it took time…or was it something that they took pride in doing?

The weird thing about me is that I like to think about how life may have been before colonization and slavery. I think about how the things that I, and we as Black people, were taught about our hair was irrelevant to them because “black” hair was all that they knew. I like to think of my ancestors wearing the most magnificent styles with their hair…and not worrying about the time that it took to do it. I honestly don’t think they minded.

I think that the negative associations and stereotypes of being Black has limited our patience with our hair…

I think now we want a quick style…because we were taught that everything was supposed to be quick, even with hair. We were taught that straight hair was better and neater and that natural hair was more work. We were taught that being natural was un-natural…so we lost touch with our natural self.

We were taught to hate the life that grows out of the roots of our scalps…when in reality our roots show us our roots as people…

I don’t think my ancestors hated their roots…

So why am I impatient with mine? Although I have “accepted” my natural hair…I obviously have more work to do since the time it takes to care for my Crown is questioned…by me.

I don’t think my ancestors questioned it…I’m pretty sure they just enjoyed the process…which makes me determined to enjoy mines.

Just a little something I thought of today…  **sips tea**

Peace&Blessings from yesterday and beyond.

 

 

The Quiet Corner:

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Setting Boundaries and Forgiveness.

I have come to learn that not everyone deserves to roam through my soul.

 

I have learned a lot about myself this summer.

That is why I started The Quiet Corner. I wanted to share a few of my thoughts and epiphanies about myself with others to see who could possibly relate. This particular segment is about Boundaries and Forgiveness.

On Setting Boundaries:

I have learned this summer that I have my heart on display for everyone to see. That is not always a good thing.

I have learned this summer that I am kind beyond measure. In some instances, that is not a good thing, but I refuse to have my kindness taken away from me.

I have also learned that I love to give my 100% to those who I feel bonded to. But, I have also learned that (in some instances) the percent given in return isn’t of equal weight.

I have learned that there are those who enjoy jokes at one moment, and in the next, turn and attack.

There are times when I learn that I am confused and hurt, and allow the same cycle to repeat with those people who I feel bonded to.

…But this is to say no more. As a sensitive human being, there are boundaries that need to be set to guard you from people who try to take from you, whether it be acquaintances, friends, and even family. I refuse to allow those that I hold close unfairly drain me. Because how is that fair to me? I now refuse to have my kindness taken for weakness, jubilance twisted, and my laughter taken all for an individuals laps in confidence and their insecurity.

I now have boundaries.

Boundaries that will enable me to bounce back, and not stay down wondering “What did I do wrong?”

Boundaries are needed. Boundaries are necessary.

On Forgiveness:

Last night, I shared a video that HalfieTruths posted about forgiveness.

What stood out to me most was her statement that  the person that you need to forgive doesn’t have to be present to accept the forgiveness…

That statement resonated with me because there are people in my life who I need to forgive, but they wouldn’t be able to handle the conversation needed to get there. I find that when I attempt to have a conversation, the focus is often deflected, the problem is never resolved, and the tensions escalate. I find that, after these conversations, I end up angrier than I was before.

Nothing productive happened.

Nothing was resolved.

In her video, HalfieTruths gave the suggestion of writing a forgiveness letter to the person.

…Needless to say, I wrote two letters last night…

…Needless to say, my soul is no longer burdened with un-needed baggage; baggage that wasn’t mine to begin with anyway

Here is an excerpt from one of the letters that I wrote:

” But, with all of that said, I forgive you for all of your trespasses towards me. Who am I to carry all of this baggage around. I forgive you and you will no longer be a factor in my mental, physical and spiritual well being. I forgive you, and you will no longer occupy  space in my brain nor my soul, because, ma’am, you do not pay rent there. I forgive you, with all of my soul, because there is a small part of you that tries to tear me down, whether you know it or not. I forgive you because if I don’t, I will become another you…and I can’t pass that along.”

Choose boundaries and forgiveness my loves.

Peace&Blessings from yesterday and beyond.